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Uglier Than Quasimodo's Passport Picture

Mangere United 6  Pukekohe 0  (Half-time 3 - 0)

Team: Trent Hirst, Ben Johnstone, Brad Frost, Andy Hey, Dave Allan, Joe Morris (Chris Mahoney), Jason Paranihi, Duncan Moxon, Robbie Leonard, Keegan Saville (Josh Wright), Jethro Conway (Eddie Bignell)

Saturday was always going to be one of those days. We should’ve realised. The weather was horrible. We arrived to find that another game was on, so we could only use half a changing room. Now, Superman may be partial to getting changed in a phone box, but squeezing 14 players plus assorted Coaches and Managers into that sort of space isn’t much fun. Wrighty did suggest that we’d have more room if we got changed in his car and, sadly, I don’t think he was joking!

Despite the poor conditions, the pitch was in pretty good nick, although it’s dimensions provoked a few comments. It’s the first time I have come across a pitch that seemed to be wider than it was long. It was so short that the TAB had Trent at $1.25 to score the first goal.

We started with one change from last week’s line-up, Robbie Leonard getting his reward for recent good performances. Mangere, on the other hand,  showed how seriously they took the threat posed by the visiting Maroon Army by playing arguably their best player, and the man who masterminded their first round demolition of us, in goal!  Oh dear.

We had told the players that we had to cut down the amount of time and space we allowed Mangere and reinforced that we had to do the simple things well. As it turned out, we did things very simply indeed. We didn’t actually do anything. You can’t get much simpler than that. Yet again we found ourselves staring down the barrel after conceding an early goal. Slack defending allowing Mangere to go 1 – 0 up within the first 10 minutes. It was becoming obvious that July 12th, 2008 was not destined to go down as a great day in the history of Pukekohe AFC’s  1st team. 

The only saving grace at this early stage was that, although we were looking worse than Paul Holmes on Dancing With The Stars, Mangere didn’t actually look that much better. The only real difference between the sides was that our opponents looked capable of passing the ball to each other and raising their game while we……….well, we didn’t.

It wasn’t long before Mangere doubled their lead, Mangere players content to knock the ball back and forward just outside the box until they got fed up waiting for a Pukekohe player to make a tackle on them, then popped the ball into the net. 2 – 0.
 
It was at 2 – 0  down, when the first moment which probably defined the game happened. After some nice football, Joe Morris found himself in the box with only the keeper to beat. Instead of giving it the ‘scientific toecap’ into the top corner, Joe elected to try and square the ball to Keegan, but played the ball slightly behind Keegan and the chance was gone. Unselfish, you might say. Unselfish wasn’t the first word which came to my mind in the dugout! Other teams get chances at this level and they finish them. On Saturday, we couldn’t finish a cheeseburger.
 
That was the first moment which defined the game, the second came just before halftime. Following a period in which Mangere adopted the Stevie Wonder approach to finishing and blew several great chances to go further ahead, in an attempt to play the ball out from the back we merely played the ball into a Mangere player and from the resulting break forward we went in 3 – 0 down at the break. Positives from the first half? That we weren’t 7 or 8 down. That the rain had stopped.
 
The second half started and we started as we meant to go on, by standing watching Mangere cut us to pieces and have a shot hit the post within 30 seconds of the restart. The rest was much the same: standing off players, diving in, not making tackles, giving away possession, ball watching. It was all there. Everything you tell 10 year olds not to do, we did. They scored another 3 and we missed one great chance late in the game. That’s about it.
 
We have sometimes been accused of being too positive in these match reports. We make no apology for doing that because the fact is that, particularly in recent weeks, there have been considerable improvements in our performances. I also make no apology for the negative slant to this report. Unfortunately, there are no positives about Saturday’s performance. It was by far the worst performance I have seen from the 1st team this season. It was dreadful, there is no other word to describe it. Or at least no words I can use on a family website! Some of our players, notably Dave Allan, Jason Paranihi and Duncan Moxon, stood out but even their performances were far below what they have produced over the last few games.
 
We have constantly praised the players for what they have achieved, and rightly so, they have set their own benchmark as the weeks have gone on. If they now fall below the levels which they’ve shown they can achieve,  they can reasonably expect to be criticised.  We have always believed that this group of players can be competitive at this level, Saturday’s performance has not changed that belief. What it has done is given a stark reminder that we have to achieve a consistent level of performance in our remaining games.
 
It is very difficult to find reasons why we performed so badly on Saturday. There is no obvious explanation for it. Some people will, no doubt, will be queueing up to tell us that the players are demoralised etc, etc. That isn’t  the case. The will and the determination is still there, just as it has been all season. All we can do now is put this performance behind us and concentrate on ensuring that there is no repeat in our home game against Western Springs this Saturday. The last time we played Springs, we went down 2 -1 and we will be going all out to claim all 3 points at Bledisloe this weekend.
 
Thanks to the supporters* who braved the conditions on Saturday, we’re only sorry that our efforts on the park didn’t match yours on the sidelines.

Man Of The Match: Dave Allan. Despite playing with a calf injury and conjunctivitis, Dave showed his usual skill and a level of on-field commitment which was sadly lacking in a number of his team-mates.

* On the subject of supporters, it has been noted that a massive increase in Wild Bean Café’s profits has coincided with Steve Saville’s travel to the games this season!

Posted in: Senior Mens Teams
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# jim mccormick
Monday, 14 July 2008 2:28 p.m.
cmon lads it should not take tom to point out the obvious . it's called football because you control,trap,pass and shoot with your feet,as for the tackling,the great jock stein once said only lazy players slide tackle so if my players wish to slide tackle i'll just have to get them fitter because celtic cannot afford to employ lazy players with lazy tactics,it's football lads STAY ON YOUR FEET.
# Eddie Bignell
Monday, 14 July 2008 11:08 p.m.
An interesting, but to the point write up Tom
Compared to our past performances, we were certainly lacking hunger or belief.
Room for improvement thats for sure.
# Price-Bates (smurf)
Tuesday, 15 July 2008 9:44 a.m.
Chin up boys lets see a good end to the season. SMURFIRATION SMURFIRATION SMURF
# Trent Hirst
Tuesday, 15 July 2008 10:07 a.m.
fair call Jimmy Mac!! and great and straight to the point report Tommy, as Eddie said lads we gottta pick up our beleif and hunger to win we can all do better and we can all become so much hungrier espically from what we have showen all our supporters the past few weeks, lets get our season back on track this weekend boys, as Muhammed Ali said ''Impossible is just big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.

IMPOSSIBLE is NOTHING!''

lets show every one we can do this and we can have fun and play football the way tht we know we can!!

# Tom Cramer
Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:34 a.m.
Ali obviously said that a few years ago ;o)
# Trent Hirst
Tuesday, 15 July 2008 1:51 p.m.
Ali may have said it a few years ago, but at the same time its re-lived has weve shown we can win and its not that impossible to play as a football team!! :)
# jim mccormick
Tuesday, 15 July 2008 6:54 p.m.
that sort of positive attitude can become very infectious trent.a good way to pass it on is to say those words loudly into your cupped hands then clap your hands onto your team mates ears so that it gets in really deep,it may cause a few scuffles but it will up the ante(he he he)

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