As the ladies’ first team play their matches on Sunday mornings, only the truly dedicated fans are familiar with the team and its players.
With the World Cup in full swing, it’s as good a moment as any to introduce you to the playing staff of the Pukekohe women’s third division side…with a little help from some superstars of world football.
Below is every player in the squad and the World Cup player they most resemble. Or should that be the other way around?
Goalkeeper:
Emily Stichbury – Spanish stopper Iker Casillas
Like Casillas, Stichbury is one of the younger members of the goalkeeping fraternity - having donned the gloves only two years ago. A terrific talent (who is also captain of the Pukekohe High School team) and constantly working at her game, Emily’s “pretty face,” like that of the Spanish keeper, confuses opponents into shooting at her rather than the corners of the goal she defends.
Defenders:
Lana Morris – Italian central defender Alessandro Nesta 
Lana is the linchpin of the Maroon defense, much like Nesta is for the Azzuri. Italy have lacked solidity with Nesta out injured and Lana is just as vital for the ladies.
Despite her defensive brilliance, Morris is the leading exponent of the ‘Cruyff’ turn in the ladies side and I’m sure has designs on moving forward. Sorry Morris, you’re too good where you are!
Karla Shearer – Portugal central defender Ricardo Carvalho
Blessed with the same ability to win 50/50 challenges as Shearer, Carvalho has helped his team reach the quarterfinals of the World Cup.
Another characteristic the duo share is the much-needed ability to get in a challenge when opposing strikers are lining up a shot. Asked to play in a back three, Shearer’s scrambling defensive work is vital. Karla also possesses the same passing ability as Carvalho and is more than comfortable going forward.
Kirstin Davey – England right back Gary Neville 
Davey provides a dependable option at right back as does the injured England defender.
Where the two differ is Davey’s ability to go past her opposite without David Beckham’s help.
Tough in the tackle, Kirstin has Neville’s eye for a pass and, just like the Manchester United skipper, would like to get forward more. While she has license to do that, “Zippy” must choose wisely.
Kelsea MacDonald – French defender William Gallas
Gallas has shown in his performances for Chelsea over the last couple of years he is more than comfortable in any position across the back four.
The same can be said of MacDonald who operates as a sweeper for the Pukekohe High School team she plays in.
Like Gallas, MacDonald likes to get in the face of her opposite, giving them little time on the ball. Kelsea also has Gallas’ ability to pass out of trouble rather than resort to the ‘hoof’ - an important quality in the ladies’ team.
Rachel Dominick – England defender Jamie Carragher
A new addition to the squad from down the line, Dominick has quickly settled into the side.
Carragher is deployed in a variety of defensive roles for both Liverpool and England and Dominick has been called upon to fill the same job description since her arrival.
Rachel has the vital ability of winning the ball at the back and finding the feet of a fellow Maroon to kick-start an attack.
Midfielders:
Leanne Dodd (capt) – German skipper Michael Ballack
Midfield dynamo just as good going forward as defensively, the skipper is the personification of leading by example. No not Ballack, I mean Leanne!
Truth be known, Ballack could learn a thing or two from Doddy about inspiring a team off the park. Doddy wears the captain’s armband with pride and has the respect of her teammates both for her considerable football skills and her…ahem…‘mother hen’ qualities.
Alice Birch – Portugal winger/skipper Luis Figo
The casual observer will tell you Ally’s pace is her biggest weapon, but not so.
Like Figo, Ally combines her electric pace with a tremendously high football IQ, which is probably just as high as her REAL IQ, to devastating effect.
Always looking to spark an attack with a telling pass after stretching an opposition defense, Birch – ala the Portugese skipper – is one of the centerpieces of the Maroons much-vaunted passing attack.
Nicole Aukett – French midfielder Claude Makelele
With the French stuttering through their World Cup qualifying campaign, they called on the retired Makelele to make a return to the line-up to solidify their midfield.
Aukett performs the same task for the ladies’ team with aplomb. After a season spent protecting the backline ‘in the hole’ – and earning player of the year honours for her outstanding showing – Nicole has moved forward to partner Dodd at the heart of the midfield. Nicole combines Makelele’s grit and lion-hearted attitude with a slick passing ability. Always finds a Maroon shirt.
Gaylene Woolley – Swedish midfielder Freddie Ljungberg
The Arsenal man is comfortable on either wing as is Woolley, who is deployed on the left at present.
Woolley, like her Swedish mirror, takes full advantage of her ability to beat her opposite, find an open teammate and make a run asking for it back.
Since her promotion from the ladies reserves she has been a constant threat to get to the byline, like Ljungberg, and was inspirational in the Knockout Cup win over Onehunga Mangere.
Emma McCrory – England left winger Stewart Downing
Downing, England’s most promising left-sided player in many a year, brings the same things to the table as McCrory.
Like Downing, a serious injury almost curtailed her career but McCrory has rebounded superbly and combines a thunderous left-foot shooting talent with the ability to go past her defender and provide a dangerous ball into the penalty area.
Maria Shearer – Dutch midfielder Giovanni van Bronckhorst 
Shearer is adept with both feet, perhaps more so than Van Bronckhorst, but where they are similar is their preference to get forward down the left side of the park.
Another player with the ability to keep the ball and find the feet of a teammate when under pressure, Shearer is equally at home at the back, as is Van Bronckhorst, alongside sister Karla.
Sarah Wild – Ghana skipper Stephen Appiah.
Ghana surprised many observers in reaching the second round of the tournament at their first attempt and they were ably led by midfielder Appiah.
Wild, who dealt with a switch from the heart of the defense to central midfield superbly in 2005, combines a hard-nosed, tough-tackling style with the skill and vision to open up opposing defenses. That is are rare combination indeed, one that Appiah used to push Brazil in the round of 16.
Strikers:
Sarah Holmes – Spanish striker Raul
Deployed just behind the front two, Raul has the both the ability to create a scoring chance as well as finish one off. Holmes possesses the same attacking gifts.
The Real Madrid maestro often finds himself the target of opposing defenders’ attention and Holmes encounters the same problems. However, the “Whippet” neatly avoids the rough stuff with quick footwork and speed of the mark.
There is one difference between the two. While Raul’s career is winding down, Sarah’s is just beginning with the Pukekohe High School vice-captain only in her teens.
Nicola Birch – Spanish goal poacher Fernando Torres
Before his team were dumped out by France, the speedy Torres was one of the likely candidates for the Golden Boot.
Nicola, cousin to midfielder Alice, has the same presence in front of goal as the Spaniard and has little regard for her own safety if a goal could result.
Nicola has the same speed (a Birch family trait it seems) and ability to get behind the opposition backline as Torres and will push for the team Golden Boot award by seasons’ end.
Denise Edmonds – Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy
The Dutch are now out of the tournament – perhaps in part to coach Marco van Basten’s unwillingness to use van Nistelrooy against Portugal – but Edmonds possesses the same “fox in the box” quality as the orange-clad striker.
Edmonds is at her best inside the penalty area and is constantly turning half-chances into goals.
But also like van Nistelrooy, Denise has the ability to drop deep and help retain possession for her side and will often be involved in an attack prior to providing the finishing touch herself.
Sonja Abbott – Dutch stalwart Philip Cocu
Over the course of his international career Cocu has been asked to play in almost every position on the park and always turns in a strong performance.
Abbott has been asked to play at right back, central midfield and striker this season has even put her hand up should goalkeeper Stichbury be unavailable.
Every team needs players of Abbott’s and Cocu’s ilk – people you can plug gaps with and not worry about them.
Support crew – Swedish fans
Spearheaded by the Wild and Dodd clans but comprised of many other parts too, this vital bunch most resemble the mad Swedish fans.
They are always there no matter what far-flung corner of the globe (or in this case, Auckland) the team is playing, inspiring their team whatever the weather.
Steve Upfold – Croatia manager Zlatko Kranjcar
Kranjcar is famous for his demonstrative arm-flailing and constant chatter in the technical area as he kicks every ball with his team.
A linesman's nightmare, Upfold is cut from the same cloth. Stalking the sideline, shouting and offering (unsolicited) advice to anyone who will listen, including officials, the coach is often exhausted after matches.
Perhaps knee surgery and crutches will help to rein in his style over the coming months? I doubt it…