Ladies’ first team season review - Part 1: Laying the ground work
Click here for a helpful reminder of which ladies' first team player mirrors which international star
The ladies’ first team began their 2006 season on a sunny 12th of February morning at Pukekohe 
High School.
Their coach was quite surprised at the turn-out - over 20 eager footballers were there.
Perhaps he hadn’t turned as many people off the game as he thought in his debut season stalking the sidelines.
It’s nice to surprise yourself sometimes.
After a pre-season team meeting it was decided, eventually, to apply to play in division two (a step up for the ladies) but due to a variety of reasons, some valid and some not, the Maroons pre-season training would prepare them for another season in division three.
The ladies first team squad would have four weeks before their first of two pre-season hit outs on March 19, so there was much work to be done.
To cut a long story short (for once), roughly speaking, pre-season training for the ladies went like this:
Arrive 10 minutes late à Put on boots (talk to mates) à Jog à pretend to stretch (talk to mates) à Fart-lic à Take on water (talk to mates) à Shuttles à Take the piss out of their coach à Have the coach take the piss out of them à Fitness circuit à Take the piss out of their coach à Nicole demonstrating ball touchy-feely exercise (yes, you read that correctly) à Fart-lic à Passing practice à Coach saying something dumb à possession games à Kelsey forgetting something à Matt laughing à Coach asking what the time was à Fart-lic à Someone helping Emily put on her gloves à woeful shooting practice à warm down à pretend to stretch (talk to mates)
After a month of that you can see why the team were psyched when their first match rolled around on:
Sunday 19 March: v Papakura division two
With their coach on crutches after a match the day before on the same pitch, the ladies met Papakura’s division two side at McLennan Park Stadium.
The Maroons lifted their coach’s flagging spirits in tearing Papakura to shreds. Had Denise not targeted a rubbish bin beside the Papakura goal rather than the goal itself, the final score could have been 10-0.
Result: 2-0 (Denise Edmonds, OG)
Player of the day: Alice Birch. A constant threat down the right flank (like her muse Luis Figo) and the source of much of our best play, Ally showed us a sign of things to come with a great game despite feeling the effects of a heavy flu. Personally, I think the flu story was just a cunning ploy designed to earn player of the day honours.
Saturday 25 March: v Waiuku division one
Club derby day arrived with much, as Lana would put it, emotion. For a variety of reasons the ladies were well up for this match and proceeded to dismantle the much-talked about Waiuku side.
Had they sold off the parts they smashed them into that fine day in Waiuku, they would have got back just enough to buy a $1 mix at the local dairy. Maybe.
The coach was hoping they’d raise a few more bob so he could pay off the speeding fine he got for trying to set a land-speed record in reaching Waiuku from Hobson Street in the city in less than 30 minutes.
But to watch that display, it was well worth it.
Result: 1-0 (Denise Edmonds)
Player of the day: Emma McCrory. Just like Ally the week prior, Emma was a constant menace to the Waiuku defence on the left flank. The best game her coach has seen her play. Her corner produced the goal that won it. All with her dad watching from the sidelines. Nice.
Sunday 2 April: v Manurewa
The league season opened, or so we thought, against Manurewa at Bledisloe. Not sure what Paul had been telling Denise during the off-season, but Niecy almost single-handed destroyed Manurewa that day.
It was a clinic in banging the ball into the net. Skipper Leanne Dodd got her first goal of the season, as did Sarah “Whippet” Holmes.
Result: 6-0 (Denise Edmonds 4, Leanne Dodd, Sarah Holmes)
Player of the day: Ruud van Nistelrooy. Four goals. Enough said.
Sunday 9 April: v Mt Albert-Ponsonby
Riding high going into the game, the ladies were shutdown effectively in this one by a side that always scares the Pukekohe coach.
Despite having several chances to win it late on, they didn’t deserve to take the points that day – which included the mother of all cloud bursts in the second half.
I think most of the team are still ‘retaining water’ from that one.
Result: 0-0
Player of the day: Lana Morris. Pukekohe’s answer to Alessandro Nesta made countless crucial interceptions, tackles, headers, clearances and “GET OUT” calls. In other words, exactly what a quality defender does.
Sunday 23 April: v Lynn Avon
After missing a week due to the division getting re-drawn because a couple of teams pulled out, (including Manurewa – obviously still gutted over Niecy’s carve up) the ladies’ started their league campaign for the second time this season.
Although someone forgot to tell them they’d actually started.
The Maroons were decidedly second best and looked like losing 0-1 until a youngster by the name of Nicola Birch was introduced with 20 minutes left.
Ally’s speedy cousin changed the match and helped to earn the corner – taken by Ally – which Niecy smashed home on the volley to take an extremely valuable point (more later) in stoppage time.
Not the prettiest showing but given the score with a minute to go you take it and ask questions later.
Result: 1-1 (Denise Edmonds)
Player of the day: The first of several for skipper Leanne Dodd. A typical captain’s knock in the middle of the park by Pukekohe's Michael Ballack at her old stomping ground.
Sunday 30 April: v Clendon
Our first of two meetings with the Sky Blues during the season didn’t go well.
We lost midfield dynamo Sarah Wild before the match (and for the rest of the season) with, how shall we say…”early-morning symptoms.”
Sarah Holmes stepped into the breach in central midfield and battled away as she always does but her effort and that of her team mates wasn’t enough.
The visitors produced some slick passing and nice finishing to take a 3-0 win that would have been 4-0 but for the referee missing the fact that one had gone through the net.
Easily the best side we’d seen to that point (including pre-season games against higher division opposition), and in the opinion of the Maroons coach – the early favourite for the league title.
Result: 0-3
Player of the day: Nicole. Last season’s player of the year with yet another great display protecting the back three. Claude Makele’s effort helped to keep the scoreline at least a little respectable.
Friday 5 May: Team ten-pin bowling night
In true Doddy style, the skipper organised a team get-together at the Pukekohe Cossie Club that was a great night and showed the coach just how close the team are. What they do, they do together.
I’m not sure they realize it, but that night, with players busting each others’ (and the coach’s) chops and having a great time, helped them win games this season.
Thanks Doddy.
Exact details of winners and losers are hard to recall at this point…but I believe Lana and Karla were standout performers, “Whippet” punched well above her weight and Birch clan members Ally and Nicola were just as average as the Kiwis were in getting pasted by the Kangaroos in Brisbane that evening.
Sunday 7 May: v Onehunga Sports
The first of two eventful trips to Waikaraka Park this year was a more sedate affair than the second (more later).
With Emma having moved on to Papakura and Sarah Wild gone for the season, a little re-jigging was required and this was the first test of the new, fandangled 3-4-1-2 formation.
After 40 minutes it looked a raging success with us 1-0 up and Nicole, Ally, Maria and Doddy bossing the show across the middle and with Holmes pulling the strings “in the hole,” we were well placed.
Then the halftime whistle went. And so did we.
Onehunga replied soon after the break and it looked like being another frustrating draw until Niecy grabbed a second 15 minutes from time before Nicola emphatically made sure of the win with her first goal for the team – with mum Lynn sporting an ear-to-ear smile on the sideline.
Big thanks go to Brandon and Jim Hey who came through to support the girls as well.
Result: 3-1 (Denise Edmonds 2, Nicola Birch)
Player of the day: Karla Shearer. A prototypical “Shearer” effort. Ricardo Carvalho won everything that came her way, first to every 50-50 and her passing was crisp and accurate to her sister Maria in-front of her. Brilliant.
Sunday 21 May: v Bay Olympic
After a postponed game the weekend before, we headed to Crum Park to meet Bay Olympic who are a good defensive outfit and therefore, a good test of our attacking qualities.
Olympic took an early two-goal lead after a couple of mix-ups at the back handed the ball to the opposition with the goal begging.
The coach has no problems conceding goals like this though. He’d rather his team try to play the ball out to feet rather than hoof for the safety of the touchline.
You can’t make omelets without breaking a few eggs…
Sonja Abbott, who was stepping up from the reserves this season, scored a candidate for goal of the year when she slammed home a volley from Ally’s free kick.
This match also marked the debut of another Pukekohe High School product, livewire Gaylene Woolley.
Result: 1-2 (Sonja Abbott)
Player of the day: Kirstin. A tremendous showing at the back from “Zippy.” Tough in the tackle and always eager to turn and make a pass at someone - in the footballing sense of the phrase of course. Gary Neville's best game of the season.
Sunday 28 May: v Lynn Avon
In the year and a half under their current coach, the ladies have always had tight, one-goal-in-it encounters with Doddy’s old club. Every match has been a struggle from start to finish and no lead seemed safe.
Not that day.
The Maroons dealt harshly to the visitors in payback for the 1-1 draw earlier in the season. Nicola grabbed a double and final goal should be on football instructional videos available in stores now.
Six passes after Zippy’s first touch in her own penalty area, it was in the back of the Lynn Avon net thanks to touches from Ally, Doddy, Gaylene, Niecy and Nicola. The last of which was Niecy sweeping the ball home from the edge of the box after a tremendous first-time lay-off from Nicola.
Twas gorgeous.
The goal was so good that Pukekohe’s 2005 senior men’s cup double winning manager Lee du Maurier exclaimed:
“That’s the best goal I’ve ever seen. Though to be fair, I don’t know much about good goals. I support Newcastle.”
Result: 3-0 (Nicola Birch 2, Denise Edmonds)
Player of the day: Nicola “Fernando Torres” Birch. I think she likes playing against Lynn Avon.
Still to come:
Ladies’ first team season review – Part 2: A cup adventure
Ladies’ first team season review – Part 3: Streaking to the finish